The Week
The moment Ukraine were declared Eurovision winners, thoughts naturally turned to wondering how a country under a violent Russian...
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Jan 24, 20221 min read
The House of Avery
I’m always touched by the messages I get. Those saying I helped them through lockdown, cheered them up or picked them out of a slump. And...
Jan 5, 20222 min read
If Netflix Made My Dream Last Night
WIDE SHOT OF A BRIGHT, WHITE ROOM. THE ROOM IS EMPTY. THERE ARE NO WINDOWS. NURSERY RHYMES PLAY. IN THE CORNER IS A SMALL BOY. HE’S...
Jan 4, 20222 min read
Why Does Cheese Taste So Good Standing Up?
Why does cheese taste so good standing up? Is it the altitude? Or the location? There’s probably some exotic cuisine out there that...
Jan 3, 20222 min read
Lonely Mouth: Day 2
If you know you’re getting clean, you may as well have one last hurrah, right? A final day of bulldozing more calories into your face...
Jan 2, 20222 min read
Lonely Mouth Blog: Day 1
WHAT IS LONELY MOUTH? One month without snacks. WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY SNACKS? I don’t mean I’m swerving kumquats for a month. I’m talking...
Dec 31, 20211 min read
Lonely Mouth Blog: Preview
There’s a brilliant Japanese word: kuchisabishii. It’s translation is simply ’Lonely mouth.’ My mouth isn’t lonely at the moment. Quite...
Nov 1, 20211 min read
I Thought I'd Seen It All
So I’m doing a gig, trying out new stuff for next year’s show. I spot a girl filming me on her phone. I politely ask her not to film as...
Oct 5, 20212 min read
Rock and Roll, baby
People often ask me what I do after my shows. ‘I bet you make the most of being away don’t you? Mad night on the town? Beers in the...
Sep 23, 20213 min read
Return of the Tastebuds
My taste came back! What a moment. I had hoped to be in the middle of something mind-blowingly delicious when it returned. Maybe some...
Sep 21, 20211 min read
Bravo, Ted Lasso
Did you enjoy Schitts Creek? Of course you did. If you’re looking to fill the void in your soul left by that show finishing, get yourself...
Sep 16, 20211 min read
The Ravages of Time
Found this flyer from my first ever solo show in 2010. Fair to say the last decade has not been kind to me... Showed my wife - she looked...
Sep 13, 20212 min read
Tennis, bloody hell
The most remarkable thing I did aged 18 was blag myself a child’s fare on the bus. And yep, that doesn’t *sound* impressive. But by 18 I...
Sep 11, 20211 min read
Freeeeeedom!
I got out! It rained! I didn’t care! I bought coffee! Chest-bumped the postman! (Okay, that last bit didn’t happen) Good to be back....
Sep 10, 20212 min read
Self-Isolation Diary: Day 10
Our last night in the Covid Cave! So many emotions. Excitement, mainly. I can’t WAIT to get my wife back in the marital bed. And I’m not...
Sep 8, 20211 min read
Self-Isolation Diary: Day 9
I’m worried my tastebuds are gonna be like my grandads hearing. You could hear his telly from down the road but when you got there he’d...
Sep 8, 20212 min read
Self-Isolation Diary: Day 8
Caught a homeless man wandering round the kitchen earlier. Turned out to be my reflection in the oven. Maybe I’m not keeping this...
Sep 7, 20211 min read
Self-Isolation Diary: Day 7
7:02am Read something about retraining your sense of smell. Shove an old sock in my schnozz and convince myself I can smell the clammy...
Sep 6, 20212 min read
Self-Isolation Diary: Day 6
It’s quite nice to enjoy a good cough without worrying you’re coming down with Covid. The downside obviously being that it IS Covid. But...
Sep 5, 20212 min read
Self-Isolation Diary: Day 5
8:05am Decide to eat healthy for the rest of my quarantine. If I can’t taste, why bother with biscuits? 8:12am Accidentally eat a...
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